Take Time Off and Enjoy Yourself

Boca Raton's got tint/noTint and boss speedo mounted to steering column
Space mountain interior houses cassette deck to play Gary Neuman
Call Gordy for fat finger splitting front bench seats
Recipient of several hand grenades priced about $4k above condition value
Murder Trailer - Die to it being twenty years old
Hang out with these guys and stuff more cup holders and fuzzy shit in your car

Man Up - 24 Hours of Lemons Charlotte Edition

Racing and E30 or Miata ?
That's a lil' bitchy don't you think ?

Strap on some cojones and race with the fat dawgs.

Damn thing's already a race car and the owner's name is Cowboy
Slap a cage on this hog and be the fuckin' man
Get some wind in your hair - drove fine before overheating
Sell those tires for $200 and then rock the 4 wheel drive in the corners
Text this guy and ask for a title
Don't paint a goddamn thing
Rear Window's made of craft paper - Seller considers it a parts car - I consider it a race car
Maro got punched in the face, but she looks eager for glory
Slowest 2 car team

Monday Kit Shit

Toadie's boasting a mini wheel and maxi die shifter - kid with rake not included
Wichita priority shift
Daytona represents Daytona and buys scores of shit from Autozone
Owner passed away trying to fill space on a Ponti chassis
Fleshy Bernardi gets Pinto Ponies
Sup Brad. $2500 frim
Includes be transmission
Call Ray to come over and go slow in his Lambo - Car is complet
Hey Rocky ! Brad's got weepy doors and garbage yard
Healey set to drage
Tilt cab makes up for everything that went bad
Boonie's stuck to the wall of shag carpet

Tri-Cities Set To Flex

Buy a truck with a melted metal slug on the back
Fat Cash Lasable
Call Landon for high priced fleshy dumper
Bottom half made of Wheaties, comes with department store wire wheels
Hey Mom, can Boggy come over ?
Second story is quonset style
Woman in foreground is actual sale item
"SERIOUS BUYERS ONLY" is my favorite part of this ad
Driver's seat made from Twinkie sponge cake, passenger area non optioned
Don't take it personal
Relive the Korean War by invading Lebanon
Nothing more patriotic than drag racing and Opel

Special Edition Motor City Housing Market

Livin' Large versus Rollin' Deep - you decide.

Eastside Tri Bed almost ready to move on in
vs
Grubby Lark with baggy interior and Chevy cap
Stormy Brit got underside made of tomato bisque

Call Sonny to hook it up down river
vs
REO Slowwagon

Drive by showing only
vs
Steve finally fixes that horrible British handling problem
10 Foot Side pipes yo !
Bring joy to your defeated city

Nothing more affordable than foreclosure rage
vs
Brady might not get around to it

Children's Hope Baptist Church - Now with less hope
vs
Sport Coupe package with most parts on hood or smashed through windows

Roll The Ave

Bronze looks like it's in the interrogation room
Salvo Lot gets maximum front seat padding
Gold on Gold sports gauges with no purpose but interior with the most pleasure
Mini Landau with the blood of nations in side
Chrome mommi took a few shots to the dome, but comes with tissue box for real tears
Elephant skin interior, complete with cassette holder

Summer Fun

Angry Cyclops almost showroom
Swap out for that stupid Nova you're never gonna fix
Cadillacs, Volvos and der Panther
Dangerous all day long
Powder Pony
Become the King of Mission, SF
Feel the cat like reflexes under your keister
Enticer says "Hop on my fat blue paddy"
Call Dale for Runs on Spray
Don't part it out - Bet your girl would love it in the living room
If you made this a porch swing, you'd never get off of it
Make Chris' yard of bullshit, your yard of bullshit

Just a couple $ick Kustoms

Do it people; look into the sun

VERY SUBTLE MODS

Hold the phone! Corrugated ground effects in effect

Roll Up Tough

You can take your boss' parking spot when you've got a pickaxe mounted up
LLoyd Alexander looks none too happy
Hello Autozone, yeah do you have heater duct for my Borgward ?
Jersey keeps it under 50
Punish yourself on hot days
Chase fools around on lonesome desert roads
Inflatable pool in the back and then roll the ave

Cleveland Flexes The Nut

Trade for grammar / spelling lessons
Put some lights on the brown one and roll up tough
No hood hot pursuit
Eleven hundred dollars of wet newspaper
I say put a mowing deck on it and be the King of your yard.
Collinte - sounds latin, very exotic
Route 66 theme - trade for pro street

Kit Shit - Heat Wave Edition

Fair Trade for your CVCC
Todd's got that horror show
Interior from the Era
Looks like a mini Stingray ?, Nope, looks like a Grubby Bradley