Tri-Mendous

The alternative to all day drinking
Sorry honey, I'll be home late
Rear tray large enough for two flats of Blatz
Roll up cush
This is so 70's killer - I'd push it around if I had to
FF and REV passenger operated
Welcome to magnificence

Farticus - Special Editon

Every day is the 4th of July
The most Florida shit in Oregon
Mega Max - Up your lightning bolt graphics game
Just enough horsepower to drag all that fake wood around the prairie
Goliath front end looks like it's sniffing for fuel
This is like turbo charging an already crushed bag of potato chips

Gaines Bourgers

Starsky's Bucket
Emergency belt expansion
Max up the back on your Corvair
CMX came with special edition, graham cracker corners
Less birdy, more money
Jet Pinto, cause you don't have enough dumb shit