Gaines Bourgers

Starsky's Bucket
Emergency belt expansion
Max up the back on your Corvair
CMX came with special edition, graham cracker corners
Less birdy, more money
Jet Pinto, cause you don't have enough dumb shit

Iowa Takes The Shit

This won first place when nothing else showed up
Trade for a pinball machine
How do you spell stranded ?

Let's Do This

Today it's all about the Carolinas - so let's call it a party.

Pardon Me Sir, Where the Fuck are the wheels ?
Iroc Comes With Everything Except What Makes A Car Go.
RV Sitting As Long As The Camera Lens Has
Nobody Has Ever Seen One Drive By
Lightnin' Rod Shifters For Maximum Tardation
Road Rail's Got Like a Dog and Neon and Shit
Take Your Friends To The Slayer Show

Sandusky Hood Scoop Classic

Bad taste and a big wallet goes to Tardland
Pep Boys must have been having a year end Scoop blowout
Along with maximum hood - this grubby Malibu's got a nice tacky wheel - dice combo
Everyone got a free hood scoop on tax day in Ohio

Beautiful Mt Aire Lodge

Oh you trickster you
Please sell it to me with the photos before you put it together
Unmolested and Rock Solid is how I'd describe it as well
Hate to sell it, but also hate to own it
Buy it for the Tiger Paws
Limited
Interior made of baggy Florida skin
Put some gas in it and drive it straight out
I'd buy anything from this guy
I was really only interested in painting some fuckin awesome eagles on it

Punch It

Super chunchy Cheto has interior that resembles when you drain a lake
Propane in the membrane
Like a 74 Lincoln needs to get any bigger
Whole yard full of leaves
Can of white Krylon and a can of Fix-A-Flat and you're rollin' super deep
Double your M's - Double your pleasure

2014 Is The Shit

Pick up all your friends and hit the town
Busted door, baggy headliner - fuck it - hit the accelerator peg and do 140
Biggy Rivvy's got a dose of not run so much
Classic Car - comes with 5" kickers in the back and false smog info
You heard it on the radio, seen it on the TV - A to the K ?
Here Comes Shitty
Drive the actual Emerald Forest - Bring all your Robert Goulet cassettes
Puzzlingly terrible photography sells the best
Hard times cause major spelling errors
If it only had larger bumpers