Tri-Mendous

The alternative to all day drinking
Sorry honey, I'll be home late
Rear tray large enough for two flats of Blatz
Roll up cush
This is so 70's killer - I'd push it around if I had to
FF and REV passenger operated
Welcome to magnificence

Farticus - Special Editon

Every day is the 4th of July
The most Florida shit in Oregon
Mega Max - Up your lightning bolt graphics game
Just enough horsepower to drag all that fake wood around the prairie
Goliath front end looks like it's sniffing for fuel
This is like turbo charging an already crushed bag of potato chips

Gaines Bourgers

Starsky's Bucket
Emergency belt expansion
Max up the back on your Corvair
CMX came with special edition, graham cracker corners
Less birdy, more money
Jet Pinto, cause you don't have enough dumb shit

Iowa Takes The Shit

This won first place when nothing else showed up
Trade for a pinball machine
How do you spell stranded ?

Let's Do This

Today it's all about the Carolinas - so let's call it a party.

Pardon Me Sir, Where the Fuck are the wheels ?
Iroc Comes With Everything Except What Makes A Car Go.
RV Sitting As Long As The Camera Lens Has
Nobody Has Ever Seen One Drive By
Lightnin' Rod Shifters For Maximum Tardation
Road Rail's Got Like a Dog and Neon and Shit
Take Your Friends To The Slayer Show

Sandusky Hood Scoop Classic

Bad taste and a big wallet goes to Tardland
Pep Boys must have been having a year end Scoop blowout
Along with maximum hood - this grubby Malibu's got a nice tacky wheel - dice combo
Everyone got a free hood scoop on tax day in Ohio

Beautiful Mt Aire Lodge

Oh you trickster you
Please sell it to me with the photos before you put it together
Unmolested and Rock Solid is how I'd describe it as well
Hate to sell it, but also hate to own it
Buy it for the Tiger Paws
Limited
Interior made of baggy Florida skin
Put some gas in it and drive it straight out
I'd buy anything from this guy
I was really only interested in painting some fuckin awesome eagles on it