Santa's Burger

Old St. Nick takes a fat crap on your judgement and bank account
Nova gets 80's van motor - you get blue Christmas
Grumbles the Scamp - trade for Volare for paper route
Was gonna make a dragster - but instead I'm gonna bail on my dreams
Wasteland Tego needs new parents this Holiday
Crappy's here

Drive slow, but own it

Video Roundup - movie cars edition

Billy Blaze's sweet ride (possibly the best car graphic ever)
Eleanor lands hard in this slo-mo crash porn
Pinto + Monaco + Country Squire + Illinois Nazis = EPIC WIN
somewhat overlooked gem, and my vote for best car chase ending of all time
Daddy Rich arrives in a mustard Lincoln limo
Dr. Johnny Fever and the Nanny rolling in another late 70s Lincoln Limo
Honkey rappin' about the cars he built for Superfly
Max Headroom yells "Burt! Your yogurt!" and then it's Dabney Coleman chasing criminals in an 80s Diplomat. You're welcome
You should see the damage Bronze!
Astonishing figure-8 race footage from the opening credits to Herbie the Love Bug

Here comes the FUZZ

this car looks mean. I think this car could beat me up
the coffee cup sets it off
includes radar gun!
awesome sleeper
Might not look like a cop car, but the speedo & upholstery will convince you
Buford T. Justice
Chartreuse and white with glass doors over the headlights
dog dish
"partially restored" means completely disassembled
don't know if genuine, but it's tough
So you're telling me that the Andy Griffith police car had Mexican blanket upholstery?

3rd seat mafia

a misguided soul accidentally creates pure genius
humongous, really ugly, super fast, cheap, totally awesome
When you do a "custom" paint job like this you have to know you're stuck with the car
Righteous oddball straight out of Harry and the Hendersons
like a Kraft single you dropped in the playground
Awesome ride, but good luck sourcing that rear woodgrain trim!
engine bay shows the true color of this million-pound rolling fortress
calamity
mint condition yawn
smart looking chap
stopped driving it because of a flat tire? cops want to buy it? smells fishy bro
I've seen some weirdo color combos in my time, but this is just odd
back up that Kam
WOW! Ad of the year, car of the year, remove your hats please and show some respect
just enough windshield to put a price on it

Ever dreamed of being a cop, but not an exciting cop; more like the cop that shows up to take photos?

The most amazing police vehicle ever for $1,500!

Last Car You'll Ever Drive

End of days. You're gonna need two turbos
Luxury until it goes dark
Delta blur wagon owns the Apocolypse
Drive one, cause they'll be all around you any how
Velour price drop
Lil pony stalls out when shit heats up
Pleasure up on your side
Restore for maximum yawness
It's like if someone farted directly into your nose

Shaygie's Mitzvah

Belch smoke like a coal furnace this holiday season
Arkansas doubles down on comin' correct
Play dice ? Roll diamonds !
Books of fiction and non-fiction
Lamborero
Long Island sets the tone for greatness
Christmas comes in Brunswick-Vision
Shreveport was kind enough to house Santa's sleigh
Before Ferrari pulled the plug on MarroBird
I would pay twice the price just for the tires
Finish this and park it at Lemons HQ
Won't last ! - Everything's wrong and terrible - your gain !

74 Gives the Gas Face

Destroy the opposition with luxury
Bumpers weigh more then entire car - free cobwebs with purchase
Disaster mobile comes with free photos of cars in nice shape
Mom ! Invader's outside
Mega comes with nice car you don't get
Special lost title edition
You can make this into the Facts of Life car if your're interested
Who Farted ?

Sandusky Boot Knock

Cold Bust It 
Shame Era Maro comes with 3 piece spoiler
I feel a Taz revival comin' on this year
Freeze your freakin' ass off this winter
This is gonna look great in your garage if it's anywhere big enough
American Indians take pride in the AMC Navaho print

Tried to do special editions from the 80s, but its a cold and lonely search

You're a sport? No Eurosport

Great hauling vehicle? $5,700? Am I missing something here?

GTZ

X

R

4

T

i? Not quite, but who remembered that this existed

Sniff the Fart

Someone put a name plate on an cart made of metal - you buy it - rare
Put in a barn in the first place for being shitty
Dummy owns it
Demand that your friends laugh at you
Train to heaven just pulled up
Thundroburd's on the outs
Impress your friends on how rare and boring you can be
Look fast and drive slow

Treat Her Right For Christmas with Autocar

I heard your lady's down with Jake Brakes
I heard your lady's down with 8 speeds
I heard your lady's down with 10 wheels
I heard your lady's down with that wood box body
I heard your lady's down with that motorhome frame
I heard your lady's down with that Holmes twin
I heard your lady get's down with that tandem cab

Macon, Georgia Sprints To Greatness

Apache hosts donk bug in background
Rambler with rare no drivetrain - sport option for 61
Call Marty - buy some shit from the woods
Rotbird flies no more
Shitlark wants you to punch it in the ass some more
Clog up the entire neighborhood
Rocky got mashed in the eye, but still wears fine threads
Asstown
Cassettes yo.
Lemony slab with daycare interior
Hardtimes means you buy Monza
Was running when I buried it 4 feet underground
Coupe D comes with chain bridge D's and Vouges
Shit bog it

Motor City Stool Sample

I wanna car that looks half this pissed
Hello Pep Boys, yeah I need parts for my Montcalm
Only if your other car is a boat can you fit this in the garage
Ram into everything and still get to where you are going
Tell women you drive a classic
Give your welder a workout
Hot Built Sleeper with little blue cloud
Call Perry for Breezeway exhaust huffer
Buy gas, call Wayne, do brake stands
Here's what it looked like before I took it apart
Drive shaft will require a second mortgage
Beaten into oblivion with the belts it needs

Terra Haute Is For Ballers

Big slab of cheddar broke out of it's individually wrapped baggy
Monopolize on the Father/Son breakup and slide into corners
Why settle for the world when you can have a whole Galaxie
Rascal - bueno
Hopefully you'll never have to replace a fender
Dash pad made from estranged Aunt's curtains
Makes a great Christmas gift - Ran Last Year
Mack hard up the Ave.
Veedersburg is off the chain
All the way slow